I do not have road rage.
I have parking lot rage.
If you get a little slip of paper under your windshield wiper that says, “Quit parking like an asshole,” I probably put it there.
It makes me nuts when people park so close to my car that I can’t get in it without getting my clothes dirty. And yes, I should get my car washed (or wash it my own self) more frequently, but that’s not the point.
There are two lines right there on the pavement to park between, and you know that the car you’re parking beside didn’t get there by itself, so somebody’s got to get back in it to move it. If your excuse is that it’s So Big, then get a smaller car. What are you hauling in that thing, anyway? People who really haul things are capable of parking practically anything, you know.
I’m also infuriated by people who come out of the store or the doctor’s office or the restaurant and get in their cars and…do nothing. I don’t know what they’re doing in their cars, but they’re not leaving in them. Once you’ve left the establishment and stowed things in the trunk and secured any children, animals, and elderly people in their seats, your business is concluded, and you need to come up off that spot. It should not take two minutes to vacate, and while you might not have anything else planned for the day, I sure do.
See how all those cars are parked on the diagonal going that way? That means you’re only supposed to drive that way, right down the middle, not on either side, and when you see cars pulling out, you let them do it, because they can’t see around the tails of the cars and trucks around them as well as you can see them. And if you’re waiting for that person who’s going to get out of that spot in a timely fashion, you turn your blinker on, see, and the people behind you know you’re not just twiddling your thumbs.
If you’re a pedestrian in the parking lot, you don’t walk in the way of traffic, because you don’t know those people – they don’t give a rat’s hiney about you and they are not paying attention and they have places to get to and they will run you right over, right before being all sorry about it.
I had a tiny little skin cancerette removed from under my nose, and it’s a rich source of blood vessels there. I can feel the blood pulsing there right now, this has got me so het up.