1. Today is Bastille Day. I know it is Bastille Day because the importance of it was drilled into me by the inimitable David Franklin, history professor extraordinaire. I have always enjoyed history because I was fortunate to have some excellent teachers along the way, but David made it come alive.
2. I have still to paint the outsides of two of the cabinet doors, put the drawers back in, and do some touch-up work, but aside from that, the kitchen is done. Yay, Grimace!
3. Last night I dreamed that I was missing an opportunity to have lunch with Heather B. Armstrong, but I didn’t really care because I don’t like chicken breast that much.
4. I also dreamed that I got back to my office building at night just in time to catch the last two songs of an Aerosmith concert, but Bon Jovi had already played. Abdul, the night security man, told me I should ask him if he would do another song for me, so I went up to him in his very fly electric blue 1977 Monte Carlo and asked him and he said yes.
5. Suze Orman is very easy to make fun of, and I’m pretty sure her silvery eyeliner is tattooed on, but I read her book and it changed my life. Also, I think she probably wears a jacket to bed.
6. I went to a makeup party at my hair salon last evening and my friend (and hero) Christine (funniest woman in the world) gave me smoky eyes. I sort of gave myself smoky eyes this morning. I should have taken a picture while I had the chance.
7. Marcy asked me the other night if I had a quote I had made up myself, and I asked if she meant like that time I told a contractor he would find it easier to shove butter up a tiger’s ass with a hot poker than to get one more dime out of me, and she said, “yes, but you don’t want that on your tombstone. Do you?” And I have been giving that some thought, but I hope I don’t need a tombstone any time soon. I have always joked that I wanted a marker in the ground that when stepped upon would blast out “Don’t Do Me Like That,” loud.
8. I have not had my car washed since I got it. For those keeping track, that’s nine months. I have, however, kept it clean of debris.
9. My hair is long enough for pigtails now. Unfortunately I look like an idiot with pigtails.
10. Two of my high school teachers died last week. I wasn’t expecting that, and am unspeakably sad about it. I think I expected them to live at the school forever.