The Parking Lot Rules, Holiday Edition

1. Once you have concluded your business at the mall, unless you have children or elderly people to load into your vehicle, once you have stowed your purchases, start the car and vacate the spot. Do not sit in the cabin of your vehicle and check your email or call your cousin or eat some lasagne or work the crossword puzzle. LEAVE THE MALL.

2. Do not select an aisle and wait for someone, anyone, to leave. Keep moving in an orderly fashion. The little walk to the door won’t hurt you.

3. Don’t have a handicapped permit? Then you can’t park in a handicapped spot. Even just to run in.

4. If you’re putting things in the trunk and planning to go back inside and someone’s waiting for your spot, let them know you’re not vacating the spot.

5. Do not walk down the middle of the aisles. Yes, pedestrians have the right of way, but only fidiots walk where others are trying to drive.

6. Do not stop in the way of people in a hurry to shop or go home to futz around. Get the hell out of the way. People in a hurry are crazy and they will cut you.

Now go in peace and sin no more.

About S.

Reader, writer, talker, knitter, picture taker, tennis player, music lover, Southerner.
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2 Responses to The Parking Lot Rules, Holiday Edition

  1. Pete Z says:

    AMEN SISTA!! Preach the good word of an orderly, polite society.

    • S. says:

      I’m going to Italy next spring. Which reminds me that the last time I was in Italy, I spent the entire time shrieking in my head, “You people! You people! GET IN LINE!!!”

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