I’ve worn glasses or contacts since third grade, so it’s not like it’s a surprise I can’t see, but it’s a surprise that I’m also far-sighted now.
Presbyopia, they call it. They tell me it’s because of my age.
I’m told that soon I’ll start having other symptoms of being middle-aged, like wearing double-knit stretch pants with matching tops and having my hair set.
At my eye doctor appointment last year, the (very young and very pretty) eye doctor had the nerve to tell me that my corneas are aged. I told her to just write my damn prescription so I could go.
Now I go to a different eye doctor. He’s older and has free parking.
About a year and a half ago, I started having to stand up to read things on my desk, and sit further back to work on the computer, and I’m only so tall. I panicked a little, because I have been near-sighted to the point that I can’t see the features on the face of a person sitting on the couch beside me without corrective lenses my whole life.
My neurophthalmologist looked deep into my eyes and told me to get some reading glasses, so I did, and that fixed my reading problem. Now if I go to a restaurant without my readers, someone has to lend me some or read the menu to me. This is why I can only go to nice restaurants, because only nice restaurants usually keep spare readers around.
Only now my vision has changed again and I can’t read street signs – I only know where I am, really, based on how long the sign is and what buildings are nearby.
I explained all this to my new eye doctor and he gave me new trial lenses which were even worse, except now I don’t need my readers.
He also gave me a prescription for new glasses with progressive lenses (which I figured out several hours later meant bifocals), and the reader portion is too weak and I can’t read at all with them, so either way, I’m screwed.
I picked up new sample lenses today and Thursday I have to go back and have my vision checked with my glasses on, so in the theoretical world, it’ll all get fixed, but it’s crazy making.
It’s like being crazy in outer space.