Author Archives: S.

2011 is drawing to a close and because I am terribly superstitious, I have been rushing around making ready. I have taken the trash out, gotten money for my pocket, changed the sheets on the beds, cleaned out the refrigerator, … Continue reading →

My godson, Ezra, only knows the last names of his friends who get in trouble a lot. Really, do you need to know the last names of the other ones?

I am sitting here like some crazed pajama-clad Madame DeFarge watching “Say Yes to the Dress.” A bride has come back to the store because her fiancé has dumped her, leaving her with a $6000 gown that she can’t wear … Continue reading →

It being the end of the year and my deductible having been met, I have been busy seeing all of my -ologists. Today was the gynecologist. Inexplicably, the magazines in the outer waiting room at my doctor’s office were limited … Continue reading →

I have to have my license renewed on my next birthday. I happen to have a Very Good License Picture because I had my hair done special for it, and I told that lady to make sure I was smiling … Continue reading →

1. Once you have concluded your business at the mall, unless you have children or elderly people to load into your vehicle, once you have stowed your purchases, start the car and vacate the spot. Do not sit in the … Continue reading →

My friend Susan (one of my friend Susans) has a magnet on her refrigerator that reads Some days it’s just not worth chewing through the leather straps. Ain’t it the gospel?

There’s a new iPhone, you know. I’ve been needing to replace mine, not so much because the new one is cool and you can ask it things like Siri, where should I hide the body?, but because when I press … Continue reading →

is one who will, upon hearing your furious rant about someone, simply agree and say asshole.