Just like a Slattery

I forgot to close the washing machine, so now I have to wait to take my shower. Which means I have to watch The Kardashians until the washer finishes.

None of this would have happened if I’d just kept taking my laundry to Wanda. Instead, I decided that other homeowners own washers and dryers and I should own one too. So I got myself a set.

I did the appropriate research and shopped around and had the whole shebang delivered. I even had to do some minor electrical work to hook it all.

But see, when I took it to Wanda, I dropped it off on Monday morning and picked it up Monday morning, and my whites glowed and my coloreds were bright, and it was all folded and ready to be put away. I’m crappy at laundry and I put off doing it and it sits in the basket when it’s all done and I have to hang it in the shower because it’s wrinkled.

I don’t think I’m actually saving $52 a month doing my own laundry, in any case.

And now I’m in the precarious position of knowing that a baby grand piano in New York city has been sullied by a Kardashian sister and her boyfriend and they’re going to return it to the store.

All because of that stupid washer and dryer.

Two months from right now, one of my oldest and dearest friends and I will be on a jet plane headed for Italy for ten days.

We are reading books and watching documentaries and making plans.

We have reservations at one place, but really want to rent an apartment in the city.

We are planning to go to Florence for a few days, maybe Pompeii.

I know a little Italian (enough to get me in trouble), he’s learning a little (enough to get us arrested).

We are so excited we can’t stand ourselves.

Lord, I hope we don’t kill each other.

Hope is the thing with feathers
that perches in the soul
and sings the tune without the words
and never sleeps at all. – Emily Dickinson

My friend Carol and I were talking about this very verse just last Saturday, out in her backyard, watching her birds.

Which makes me sound all soulful and poetic, which I’m not, especially. But Carol is. And I’m nothing if not full of hope.

We are reminded how short life really is, and how we are just passing through. So all the people you haven’t told you love lately, tell them, and live all your days like you mean it. – Hal Sutton

Hal Sutton, if you don’t know, was a professional golfer (maybe still is), and back in the early 80s, my friend Wendy was just crazy about him because he was so cute. She was so crazy about him that she had her picture made standing beside him at the practice round of The Masters. She was shaking like a leaf and blushing bright red.

That Christmas, she got that picture enlarged to poster size as a gift.

I bring that up because I haven’t talked to Wendy in a long time, and she’s one of my oldest friends. And I happen to know she stands ready to beat the tar out of an intruder with a baton, should the need arise.

There’s a video going around with instructions for curling your hair with a sock.

Guess what I’m doing tonight?

In approximately ten hours, I will look like a completely idiot. I mean, more of an idiot than I look like with a sock doughnut on top of my head.

All this glamour does not come naturally.

Today’s truth is:

All human beings should try to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why. – James Thurber.

Two things – if you haven’t read Thurber, you should.

If you’re running and there’s nothing chasing you and it’s not for exercise, then why are you running, really? You’ll get there when you get there.