Just like a Slattery

I like to state the obvious sometimes.

It is cold here in the briarpatch, but at least I ain’t out in it, stranded in my car, trying to get back to the house, wondering how many more minutes it’s going to be before I have to abandon whatever shred of self dignity I have left and get out beside my vehicle and tinkle in front of thousands of other stranded motorists.

From inside the house, looking out the windows, it is a gorgeous day – heartbreakingly blue skies and that wintry sun that looks like the light they use in jewelry stores. Aside from the constant drip-drip of the faucets, it’s quiet in the house – not even a radio to keep me company, and m’dawg isn’t snoring, either.

I’d like to claim that I’ve been productive today, but the only thing I’ve done is sleep off another migraine and have a cup of coffee. Now that that’s done, I’ll do a little work and make a little lunch and get ready for tomorrow, when they tell me it’s going to be really cold. I

In an hour or so, 2014 will be all over, even the shouting.

I have nothing to add that someone else, somewhere, hasn’t said.

This has not been my best year, and I can’t think of a worse one, but I kept picking them up and putting them down anyway, and here I am, still plugging along.

Because today is the last day of the year, I spent it rushing around tending to my superstitions, making ready for a blank slate tomorrow morning, giving myself the best chance possible to get it all right from the get-go.

My phrase for the year has been “get down with the getdown,” which is to say, I’ve had to get down with the getdown, and other people have likewise had to get down with the getdown, too. It hasn’t been easy for any of us, and if it were like being born, we’d all have fought to stay where we were.

I have found more friends than I have lost, and I have seen more people succeed than fail, so I’m putting it all in the W column.

I continue to be amazed at how much of the world I see in the eyes of my loved ones every single day.

All that being said, I’m glad 2014 is ending. I’m ready for it to be gone. I’m not ready to throw in the towel, but lawdy, I have had enough of this year.

Happy 2015. Be tender.

It’s 76 degrees in my house.

The air is not moving around.

For you, this might not be such a big deal. For me, it is a calamity.

I hate to be hot, and not only do I hate to be hot, it gives me a terrific headache.

Which reminds me that my uncle Bobby has a motorcycle, and my granny, back before she was in the nursing home, was saying how “It scares me to death that Bobby rides that motor-siccle all over the place.”

I asked her if she was afraid my daddy was going to get one and she said, “No, hon, your daddy likes air conditioning too much to ride on a motor-siccle.”

So at least I come by it honest.

Anyway.

I got home from tennis yesterday and the air was flat and still and the thermostat said it was 76 degrees in here, which, honestly, if it’s 76 degrees outside, I’m liable to freak out and think we’re fixing to have a heat wave.

I called the number for the company I’ve been using for decades and Mikki, because she’s familiar with my conditioned-air hysteria, said she’d get someone out here  “by noon tomorrow,” which is today, and that’s fine. I have fans set up all over the place and I’m sitting in the dark so as not to generate even more heat.

When I bought my first house, some little something or other went wrong and I trucked myself up to the Home Depot for the 90th time that week and was trying to explain to the man what the problem was (without even benefit of a phone that could take pictures!) and he looked at me and said, “Honey, don’t you have something like a husband?”

Something like a husband.

No. I have a phone and a checkbook. And I’m not afraid to use either.

Progress.

I love what I’m doing for a living now, but I miss a lot about my old job. I miss my old boss. I miss having a definite schedule. I miss the security men in our building. I miss our postage machine. I miss my big office and my big leather chair and my phone with a lot of buttons. 

This summer, when it gets hot, I will particularly miss my door, which I could close so I could work pantsless for a little bit. There will be no more of that.